I've forgotten..

I can't remember hardly anything anymore. It's been 11 months and 24 days since I've seen him, and I can't even remember what it feels like when he holds my hand, brushes my hair out of my face, kisses my forehead, or even just to have him sitting next to me in the Draper Temple, not being able to touch me because he was already set apart as a missionary. I can't remember it at all! It's as if he was just a dream.. AND I HATE THAT!! I spent so much time with him, and to have it all be so foreign to me absolutely breaks my heart. I'm trying to keep myself occupied to make time go by faster, but time just keeps on crawling. It's going to get better (: It will, I know it.. It just has to..